HyperBored

How many ADHD brothers does it take to write a blog?

Are you a geek? How do you know?

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Image by Tac Anderson via Flickr
I'm always a sucker for debate on the evolution of  the meaning of words. Kat over at Gizmodo has an interesting rant about the use of the word Geek.
In the last couple of years though, the word has changed again. The "geek" accolade is a badge of honor, people are proud to call themselves one. It's now used to describe someone with a Twitter account, a wide selection of iPhone cases with Mario characters on, a Tumblr log-in or a penchant for ironic t-shirts. The girls read GeekSugar, the boys search eBay for old Dreamcast games, and they all think they're pretty cool—and different to everyone else. It's become such an overused—and misused—word that it's lost its meaning along the way. Now, a geek is just someone who's vaguely techie, knows how to use the internet properly, and has an appreciation for ironic throw-backs to their childhood. It also suggests a pride behind the intelligence one possesses, but with everyone throwing it around willy-nilly, the meaning has become extremely muddy.
What makes someone a geek?Is it something you can claim? Is it something that has to be awarded to you like being an "expert"? Rob Diana claims to be a regular geek. (As opposed to an irregular geek) Hutch Carpenter claims to not actually be a geek. (Apperantly he get's accused of being one.) My own brother and fellow blogger,  Jeremy - aka Guy Magnificent, hates geeks (actually he hates nerds but it's close). On one hand I don't fit the profile of a geek. I don't game much anymore (with the exception of Lego Star Wars with my kids). I have an MBA (that probably disqualifies me right there). I can't code beyond basic HTML (and I usually have to cut and paste that). On the other hand I am accused of being a geek with my "normal" friends. I own (and use) 3 cell phones. I have and keep updated 4 blogs (but when something goes really wrong I have to get help). I run all 3 major operating systems at home (but when one crashes hard I take it to someone else to fix). I collect first edition Steam Punk novels. Or is being a geek more of a spectrum? I propose that we all have some geek in us. Some of us celebrate the geek within. Some people try to ignore their inner geek. Some things make us "geek out" more than others. We're all geeks. Some of us just embrace it more than others. How much of a geek are you?
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Filed under  //   What I Think   geek   lego   star wars  

I can't sleep

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It happens to everyone I guess but it happens to me regularly. I can't get to sleep. I know why and I usually have tricks to help me get there. Tonight it didn't work. The problem? My brain won't shut off. It runs non-stop like a generator producing enough energy to electrify the rest of my body. (P.S. don't tell me it has anything to do with caffeine because I didn't have any - maybe that's my problem) Normally I relax. I write in my journal all the stuff running around in my head. After a while I throw on some headphones to give me something else to not-focus on (if that makes sense). Eventually I fall asleep. Not tonight. The alarm will go off in a few hours (about the time I start to wear out). I'll shower *wake up* and do well most of the day. I'f I'm lucky I'll be tired and get some sleep tomorrow/tonight night, (whatever). If I'm unlucky it'll be a 2 or 3 nights before I get some real sleep. That hasn't happened in a while, but it does still happen.
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Filed under  //   Brain   Caffeine   What I Think   hypomania   sleep  

My personal math problem

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Mysterious number 6174 I've always had a strange fascination with numbers that I find frustrating. I'm horrible at math, not because I don't think I can do it but because I never learned how. I grew up believing I was bad at math but as I get older I actually find some parts of math very easy. I'm actually thinking of going back to school to get a CS degree which would require me to basically start over with high school level math.
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Filed under  //   Education   Math   Mathematics   What I Think  

Coming to grip

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Image by drp via Flickr
I am coming to the sad realization that I will never be content. Sometimes that's good. Sometimes it's not.
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Filed under  //   Realization   What I Think   reality   when i grow up  

Is ADHD really a disability?

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Yes there are things that people with ADHD have a more difficult time doing than others. And no this isn't one of those "don't call me disabled" posts. This is actually a "people with ADHD will rule the World" post. :) Every individual example I use here is applicable to everyone at some level. Everyone reading this will say "I have that" or "I do that." Yet not everything I point out will apply to everyone with ADHD.  Collectively the examples I'll use here, strengths and weaknesses, are most often found among people with ADHD. Why ADHD is seen as a disability. There are times, no matter how hard I try, that I cannot pay attention to a task. This goes beyond the usual *having a hard time paying attention*. I mean physically NO WAY to keep your mind on track. The science behind this (as I understand it) is there is not enough serotonin level to enable the synapses to relay messages to each other. No amount of effort helps. This is especially bad when I don't take my Ritalin. I also notice it when I don't eat enough carbs. I believe carbohydrates aid in the creation of serotonin. Other issues with ADHD. Besides the whole attention thing, people with ADHD are incredibly compulsive. We have a significantly higher propensity towards alcoholism and drug abuse. Actually we have a tendency to get addicted to anything (accept stimulants). Food, hobbies lifestyles, whatever. We are typically risk seekers. It goes beyond having a high level of tolerance to risk. We're not just risk neutral (neither scared nor attracted to risk), we actively seek risk. We seek any kind of risk, physical, mental, professional and emotional. Couple that with the whole compulsive/addictive thing and you're starting to get an idea. There are other general learning problems that typically accompany ADHD. K-12 (and most of college) was much harder for me than it was my friends. I worked my ass off in school to get B's and C's (mostly C's). To this day I still struggle with simple things like spelling. Everytime I spell week/weak, I have to stop and think about which one I mean. I cannot remember facts, like names and dates to save my life. History is lost on me. However, I think the real problem with ADHD is that it's hardest on children and the collateral damage during those formidable years is their self confidence, which results in a vicious cycle of self destruction and negative self fulfilling prophecies.  By the time they make it to adulthood, they're so beat up they don't stand a chance of reaching their potential. Why people with ADHD will rule the World. It's not all as bleak as it sounds though. There are some things that I (and others I know with ADHD) can do better than anyone else. People with ADHD are known for possessing incredible creative problem solving skills. I can track multiple conversation threads in my head at the same time. Once I learn something I retain it and can recall it on a moments notice years after it's served any useful purpose. Just don't ask me where I read it. I think that information is stored where names are stored.  I'm great with theory. Applying principles and philosophy from one area to another is second nature to me. I poses the non-linear/abstract thinking skills of a math theorist. Just don't ask me to apply it to mathematics. I can consume, process, filter and act on a tsunami's worth of information like Bruce Lee fighting an army of evil henchmen. And once my mind gets a hold of a thought or a problem that needs resolved, it doesn't stop thinking about it - ever. Even when I want to sleep. People with ADHD tend to be intuitive and sympathetic. We're usually very charming and personable - as long as you're not trying to get us to do something task oriented. So how does this lead to World domination? As more and more of the world becomes digitized the simple things like spelling and grammar are *mostly* taken care for us. Thank you spell check! Side note: Before all you English teachers, journalism majors and English language purists jump on me here to defend the honor of your grammar skills, I am not advocating that spelling and grammar are not important. I do think that (and I continue to try to) learning the proper use of grammar is vitally important. I just don't let it being a weakness stop me. The amount of information we will have to deal with on a daily basis is not going to go away.  The days of taking a safe job with a company are over. We now have to reinvent ourselves every decade or so. Every career path is risky. Basically all of those things that make those of us with ADHD the way they are, enable us to succeed. If we are able to get in the right fields, something we enjoy, it's the equivalent of the physical abnormalities Michael Phelps had that enabled him to be the greatest Olympian to date (BTW Michael Phelps also has ADHD).
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Filed under  //   ADD and ADHD   What I Think   strengths   weaknesses   work  

Sometimes I Wish

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Sometimes I wish I was the kind of person that just was content with doing my job and taking care of my family. Heck even having a hobby and maybe one local group that I supported. But it never seems like it's enough. I have multiple side projects, and not the car in the garage kind. It's the try and change the world kind that seem to always seem to get me. I've always been an idea guy. Back in the day that wasn't a problem because they never amounted to anything or never had any real chance of amounting to anything. But now things are different. I'm dangerous now. I know how to make things happen. I know the right people. I know what it takes to turn an idea into action, and unlike most people I do. But there's never any shortage of ideas. There's never any shortage of things that *need* to be done. And I feel compelled to do them. Sometimes, I wish I wasn't.
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Filed under  //   Family   Side project   Time   What I Think   personal  

Driven by the ghosts of my future

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I think it may be a symptom of my generation, the fact that I'm ADHD, and that I may have hypo-mania but I constantly struggle with the "what do I want to be when I grow up?" question. The only answer I've been able to come up with is: content. I don't think that will ever happen. I constantly drive myself to stay busy. I have a very demanding *day job*. I have several blogs that I try and keep fresh, I run a monthly tech meetup and I work with my local VC firm to help them asses Web based investment opportunities. And at many times that doesn't seem like enough. I see what can be. I see what my home town could be. I see what I could be. I see what I can do to make all these things happen. And I wonder why others don't see the opportunities that are all around. Then I wonder if maybe they do see but just choose not to do anything about it. Why is everyone else so lazy? What the hell are you doing? Get up and do something!
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Filed under  //   ADD and ADHD   What I Think   ambition